Wants and needs are like twins, nearly alike and feel similar but what’s the difference? One has more importance than the other which is our needs. 98% of twins are not hundred percent alike most especially in character. When you meet a set of twins for the first time, they’d seem so so so alike in everything including in character but when you spend just a lively day with them, you’d realize they’re not the same in character and there’s a little difference in their resemblance. That’s how wants and needs are! Interesting right? We’ve all been blinded by our wants because we feel we need them but on the long run, 80% of your wants keep wanting more and more and your satisfaction level never lasts as long as it should. Now, how can we differentiate between our wants and our needs? Can we spot the little differences ?
Sarah was a lady with good financial stability and a comfortable life to cater for herself but she had no Man in her life with all the goodness she had. She only got attracted to Tall guys with built-up body, good looks and dark skin. All these was all she ever wanted and freaked on when it came to her Man preference. That means if any guy doesn’t meet up to this requirements then he’s not in her league, right? Sarah had lots of heart breaks because she kept selecting what she wants as her needs, all her requirements didn’t make her meet her soul mate because she kept on with the selection and it wasn’t still right for her. Most times we let our guard down because we want what shouldn’t be ours. Sarah decided to take a break off Men for six months trying to analyse were she was going wrong. Then one day, as she stepped out for work, a phone call came in from her best Aunt, Stephanie. It had been a while they spoke so lots of topics came in on the phone till she got to work. After an hour into the call conversation,Stephanie said she has a hook up for her and he’s comfortable and ready to settle down.Sarah sighed wondering what her dear Aunt was up to and said “fine, but first, I need a picture of him”and Stephanie agreed to send an image and the call ended. Few hours later, still at work, a message came in from her Aunty Stephanie and it was an Image of a Light skinned Man who uses glasses and her Steph said “His name is Mark”,she couldn’t tell if he was tall or not but she wasn’t interested in knowing him anymore.
Sarah replied her Aunt saying she’s not interested in him cos he’s not her taste. Stephanie had to call instantly to dig deep into her thoughts and why she used the word taste.On the call Stephanie said “have you even met and you’re already complaining about him? First of all ,meet him and you would know if he is a good one or not for you don’t judge people when you haven’t even met them and that’s what you’ve been doing since I knew the First Man in your life. If you’re looking for the right one, loosen up, see everyone equal not by how they look because you’d both make pictures perfect. Marriage is much more than choosing how you want your Man to look like….Look more on the qualities you need in a Man and how much respect you’d both give back. Darling, you can’t have what isn’t yours, what will be will be only if you want to act all desperate to a fetish level. Looks doesn’t determine our accomplishment because at the end we’d still grow old.Get to know him and what he wants in the long-run with you …and it’s left for you both to decide” Sarah sighs “Thanks Aunty, I guess I’ve been doing it the wrong way, I’d get to know him” “ That’s good enough, you know you matter to me and I want the best for you….well…..take care Sarah” “you too, Aunty”
Mark and Sarah finally got Married. She married the one who fulfilled her dreams. Imagine the person she looked down on being there for her through thick and thin. Don’t describe people or objects by what you want , give it a description of what you need. If you know what you need you’d not try to hard
Sarah finally met Mark and loosened up to know him more and the more they got to know each other, she realized she never met a Man like Mark with so much goals and a loving heart. For the first time in her life, she knew she was doing it right in her relationship with Mark and not working too hard to impress a Man she wants, she knew it was him!
I learnt something about wanting, you try too hard for nothing. Imagine such hardwork for nothing but pain and lost hopes.
Start giving chances beyond the boundaries you set because of your wants
Welcome to the new change!